Holidays like Easter, Family Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas can be especially difficult after the death of a loved one. These occasions often emphasize family togetherness, traditions, and celebration, which can make grief feel even heavier when someone important is missing. At Hospice Orillia, we know that holidays can bring both cherished memories and painful reminders of absence.
Grief does not follow a calendar, and there is no “right” way to get through a holiday while mourning. Some people may want to keep traditions going as a way to feel connected, while others may need to change plans entirely. Both responses are valid. The most important thing is to give yourself permission to approach the day in whatever way feels most manageable.
Acknowledge mixed emotions
It is normal to feel sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, or even moments of joy during the holiday season. These emotions may surface unexpectedly, especially when traditions highlight the person who is missing. Instead of judging yourself for how you feel, try to name those emotions and allow space for them.
You may also notice that your feelings change from one holiday to the next, or even from one year to another. That does not mean you are grieving incorrectly. It simply means your grief is responding to the moment, the memories, and the support around you.
Adjust traditions to fit your grief
You do not have to celebrate the way you always have. You might choose to attend only part of a gathering, skip an event altogether, or create a quieter day at home. Some people find comfort in including a remembrance moment, such as lighting a candle, sharing a story, visiting a meaningful place, or preparing a favourite meal in honour of their loved one.
It can also help to talk with family members ahead of time about what feels doable. Making a plan can reduce pressure and help everyone understand what to expect. Even small changes can make a holiday feel more manageable.
Create a personal memorial token
For some people, having a small physical reminder can offer comfort during difficult holidays. Hospice Orillia’s Memorial Tokens page includes ideas for creating meaningful keepsakes at home — something simple and personal that helps you feel connected to the person you are grieving. A memorial token does not need to be an item your loved one owned; it can be anything that reminds you of them and the love you shared. For inspiration please visit https://hospiceorillia.ca/bereavement-services/memorial-tokens/
Reach out for support
You do not need to carry grief alone. Hospice Orillia offers bereavement support, including one-on-one support, bereavement groups, and other resources for people coping with loss. These supports are intended to provide a safe and compassionate space for people of all ages and backgrounds. For more information please visit https://hospiceorillia.ca/bereavement
If the holiday season feels overwhelming, reaching out before the day arrives can be especially helpful. Support may make it easier to set boundaries, make a plan, or simply feel less isolated while you move through the day.
